I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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