At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
In America we eat man semen.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
