with your own penis?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I'm really busy with my period
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