why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
