dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
