nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
