So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
