we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
