we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
