dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
