I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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