you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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