I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
