In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think I sprained my soul last night
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
