I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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