Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
