i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Randomize
