I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
