She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
