Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
