my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
