I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
it's great music for shaving your balls
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
