i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Who wears a wallet chain?!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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