Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
