Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
