Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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