it was like his penis was on wheels.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
