The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
