I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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