I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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