i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
