I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
