ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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