someone get that fucking seahorse.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just high enough for therapy.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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