How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
