I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
