you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
