she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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