Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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