He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
