Can i not drive my cunt home
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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