I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
