peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
