Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
