FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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