ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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