How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
