And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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