dude i'm inner monologue high
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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