sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
