Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
