mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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